Beautiful imagery. Got lost a little when his friends disappeared -- went back to see if I'd missed something. But I love the perspective of someone teetering on the bridge between life and death, washed up on the shores of pain.
There's one little editorial suggestion I would make. You can tell me to sod off, but I think you might agree. But I'll only suggest it with your permission.
Ouch. Well, mistakes happen in every book, trad or indie, but as I prep a book for ARC copies I might just reread it 100 more times just to make sure me and my editor made an OK team, haha! Speaking of, I recently caught a typo in someone's blurb (published through a small press!) I pointed it out to them but the books have already been printed...
Thank you! Good catch. I can be a bit fast and loose with punctuation/grammar sometimes but if it's a legit mistake FEEL FREE to point it out. As far as critique goes, I am always open to it.
This is just extraordinary! Iām enraptured.
Thank you! If you need more there's a 2nd part to it, link in the body of the post š
Thanks again
Beautiful imagery. Got lost a little when his friends disappeared -- went back to see if I'd missed something. But I love the perspective of someone teetering on the bridge between life and death, washed up on the shores of pain.
Thanks so much for the feedback!
There's one little editorial suggestion I would make. You can tell me to sod off, but I think you might agree. But I'll only suggest it with your permission.
Go ahead! Critique away
It's not a critique, just an edit. It should read:
"I did remember, and the dried blood on my cheek cracked at my smile. I took the skin of water and attempted , through my nausea, to drink."
As opposed to " drink through my nausea", which is truly a horrible thought.
I like the way you bend grammatical rules, especially in PMU. It's amazing for pacing, style, voice.
NK Jemisin does a bit of that too.
In this case it was just " No Allain, no water strained through puke"
Ha! See, this is why editors are important.
Dear friend of mine published an indie horror novel. Skimped on the editing/ proofing. Last night I read a " due" where it was supposed to be a "do".
Ouch. Well, mistakes happen in every book, trad or indie, but as I prep a book for ARC copies I might just reread it 100 more times just to make sure me and my editor made an OK team, haha! Speaking of, I recently caught a typo in someone's blurb (published through a small press!) I pointed it out to them but the books have already been printed...
Thank you! Good catch. I can be a bit fast and loose with punctuation/grammar sometimes but if it's a legit mistake FEEL FREE to point it out. As far as critique goes, I am always open to it.
Indeed, that's an unfortunate imagery. š