Hey, do you mind a suggestion? It might be more clarifying to add a few "said CHARACTER/CHARACTER said" type tags in longer expositions of dialogue. Especially in the beginning as the characters and their ways of speaking are still being established, as it might be a little difficult to figure out exactly who's speaking. Just a thought. Keep at it....
>>>
“‘Hark ye, men!’ That’s the start? And you did not rise? ‘Swords aglow in summer fire, battle-sweat upon ye brow.’ So far?” Brychan confirmed with a nod. “‘Benighted of the maiden’s ire. Seek ye out—”
“‘The mountain hare—’”
“‘Held fast in a rowan bough, of ash-wood grey and lily fair.’”
“That’s right. And I asked it ‘What maiden? Which one cursed me now?’ I thought it funny in the moment, magician, but the ravens didn’t seem to share my humour. ‘If I catch this hare of yours, will I be cursed then, or remedied of it?’ There was no more to be said, not in riddles or otherwise, I suppose, so we thanked our wanderer for its rhyme and returned to eating pheasant…” Brychan shrugged. “Seeing Rhys like this now… I suppose I shouldn’t have been so blythe.”
Quite big in canada... and NZ - Amazing Decology where the characters meet each other and its you can read about the meeting in the different books from each characters viewpoint.
Nicely done.
Thank you!
Hey, do you mind a suggestion? It might be more clarifying to add a few "said CHARACTER/CHARACTER said" type tags in longer expositions of dialogue. Especially in the beginning as the characters and their ways of speaking are still being established, as it might be a little difficult to figure out exactly who's speaking. Just a thought. Keep at it....
>>>
“‘Hark ye, men!’ That’s the start? And you did not rise? ‘Swords aglow in summer fire, battle-sweat upon ye brow.’ So far?” Brychan confirmed with a nod. “‘Benighted of the maiden’s ire. Seek ye out—”
“‘The mountain hare—’”
“‘Held fast in a rowan bough, of ash-wood grey and lily fair.’”
“That’s right. And I asked it ‘What maiden? Which one cursed me now?’ I thought it funny in the moment, magician, but the ravens didn’t seem to share my humour. ‘If I catch this hare of yours, will I be cursed then, or remedied of it?’ There was no more to be said, not in riddles or otherwise, I suppose, so we thanked our wanderer for its rhyme and returned to eating pheasant…” Brychan shrugged. “Seeing Rhys like this now… I suppose I shouldn’t have been so blythe.”
“You were camped near a shee.”
“Aye, but ‘twas no fae.”
“How can you be so sure?”<<<
I appreciate the feedback! I'll remember this for draft 2
I liked that! Keep smashing them out :) Im reading this right now ( again ) Amazing NZ author I was weaned on at 10...
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1720859.The_Walrus_And_The_Warwolf
Thanks for the rec, I haven't heard of those books before!
Quite big in canada... and NZ - Amazing Decology where the characters meet each other and its you can read about the meeting in the different books from each characters viewpoint.
Heres the link to the 1st one
https://www.amazon.com/Wizards-Warriors-Chronicles-Age-Darkness/dp/0552125660/ref=sr_1_1?crid=X0F6BSJPJUBO&keywords=hugh+cook&qid=1704598657&sprefix=hugh+cook%2Caps%2C118&sr=8-1