Hey, do you mind a suggestion? It might be more clarifying to add a few "said CHARACTER/CHARACTER said" type tags in longer expositions of dialogue. Especially in the beginning as the characters and their ways of speaking are still being established, as it might be a little difficult to figure out exactly who's speaking. Just a thought. Keep at it....
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“‘Hark ye, men!’ That’s the start? And you did not rise? ‘Swords aglow in summer fire, battle-sweat upon ye brow.’ So far?” Brychan confirmed with a nod. “‘Benighted of the maiden’s ire. Seek ye out—”
“‘The mountain hare—’”
“‘Held fast in a rowan bough, of ash-wood grey and lily fair.’”
“That’s right. And I asked it ‘What maiden? Which one cursed me now?’ I thought it funny in the moment, magician, but the ravens didn’t seem to share my humour. ‘If I catch this hare of yours, will I be cursed then, or remedied of it?’ There was no more to be said, not in riddles or otherwise, I suppose, so we thanked our wanderer for its rhyme and returned to eating pheasant…” Brychan shrugged. “Seeing Rhys like this now… I suppose I shouldn’t have been so blythe.”
Nicely done.
Hey, do you mind a suggestion? It might be more clarifying to add a few "said CHARACTER/CHARACTER said" type tags in longer expositions of dialogue. Especially in the beginning as the characters and their ways of speaking are still being established, as it might be a little difficult to figure out exactly who's speaking. Just a thought. Keep at it....
>>>
“‘Hark ye, men!’ That’s the start? And you did not rise? ‘Swords aglow in summer fire, battle-sweat upon ye brow.’ So far?” Brychan confirmed with a nod. “‘Benighted of the maiden’s ire. Seek ye out—”
“‘The mountain hare—’”
“‘Held fast in a rowan bough, of ash-wood grey and lily fair.’”
“That’s right. And I asked it ‘What maiden? Which one cursed me now?’ I thought it funny in the moment, magician, but the ravens didn’t seem to share my humour. ‘If I catch this hare of yours, will I be cursed then, or remedied of it?’ There was no more to be said, not in riddles or otherwise, I suppose, so we thanked our wanderer for its rhyme and returned to eating pheasant…” Brychan shrugged. “Seeing Rhys like this now… I suppose I shouldn’t have been so blythe.”
“You were camped near a shee.”
“Aye, but ‘twas no fae.”
“How can you be so sure?”<<<
I liked that! Keep smashing them out :) Im reading this right now ( again ) Amazing NZ author I was weaned on at 10...
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1720859.The_Walrus_And_The_Warwolf